Honor Chair

Is that what I think it is?

Is that LOVE CHAIR?

A GIANT love chair at the honor table for the bride and groom? That is both padded and made of white pleather??

I mean, let's not kid ourselves, if I had it my way I would probably spend my entire wedding reception sitting on an (elevated) throne, sans honor table.

But this is just....strange?

The Wrong EmPHAsis, the Wrong SyllAble

"accent" (noun): an element, distinct from those surrounding it, used to denote special importance/significance or to draw particular attention to something (or to itself in an ensemble).

Or, what makes a 'detail' a 'détail.'

Accents on wedding chairs: acceptable comme idée, but be sure to flex your circumflex in the right direction, or you'll fall a little, well, flat.

Hate it or love it, this is a détail:


this is another:


and here, finally, a third:


They might not proclaim earth-shattering statements to write home about, but if nothing else, they make for a (short) conversation piece.

This (and let's, for the sake of argument, ignore how atrocious this spectacle is in general), in any colour, no matter how you tie the knot (or bow), is not even a detail, let alone a détail:


We keep seeing chairs 'accented' this way and ... yawn ... I'm too sleepy even to be böred.

Dearly Departed

Father Mackenzie had been invited to lunch after the funeral. It seemed only natural: he had known Mrs. Draper for thirty years. Presiding over her final mass had been difficult, but he had found comfort in the presence of her three children and loving extended family.

He approached the banquet hall - this was to be an elaborate affair - and had a peak inside: he couldn't recognise anyone, and the table setting seemed a little superfluous, even for the Drapers, but the black curtains, carpet, tablecloth and slip covers, and the austere damask all signaled grief to him.

As he reached to open the door, he suddenly noticed a bride approach him with a quizzical look on her face. "Are you here for the Johnson-Smith wedding?" she asked. It was then that Father Mackenzie knew that the Johnson-Smiths could probably use a good, old-fashioned blessing.

That's Bawlmer, Hon

Tracie: Hey, honey, Chelsea just sent me her pictures from our wedding - wanna see?

James: Sure.

Tracie: Ok, these are not in order ... oh! What a pretty shot of the Baltimore Museum of Industry. You know, I'm glad we listened to that woman at the bridal expo and had the reception here - it's such a staple of the city.

James: It is.

Tracie: Didn't cost that much, either.

James: Nope.

Tracie: Your parents look so happy.

James: I don't think they noticed the Natty Bo place-card at their table.

Tracie: You know I love your parents, but they're a bit of a bore. There's nothing wrong with Natty Bo. He's a Baltimore staple, too.

James: He sure is. I'm sure Jen and Stacey loved the aesthetic - seems right up their alley.

Tracie: What is that supposed to mean?

James: Nothing, baby. Which is which?

Tracie: What do you mean?

James: I mean, which one is Stacey?

Tracie: The MAN! The MAN is Stacey.

James: Right. It's a very manly name. Jen, I think, really pulls off blue-collar 50s chic here, bull-style nose-ring and all.

Tracie: Are you making fun of my friends? Of OUR friends?

James: No! I like her hair ... it's a nice colour. She matches our décor.

Tracie: You're an asshole.

James: Hey, at least my friends came looking normal.

Tracie: Just because Tyler's wearing a shirt and tie doesn't mean he looks normal. Would it have killed him to shave and get a haircut? Oh, I suppose he might have if his easy-breezy beautiful granola-licking girlfriend had decided, for once, to do something with her own hair other than sweep it up into the same ponytail she wears home from the gym.

James: That's my sister. You put her in the wedding party.

Tracie: Yeah, and she's also the one who convinced me to wear this napkin on my head and this horrible plastic ring and mismatched earrings. What was I thinking listening to her?

James: The flowers in your hair are pretty.

Tracie: Are you changing the subject?

James: No, babe - just focusing on the positive.

Tracie: When do you go back to work?

James: We JUST got to Jamaica.

Tracie: It's gonna be a long honeymoon ...

(Luke)warm Palette

Although it was eons ago, some of you may remember our post "Pop, Quiz, Hotshot" and the bride who (indirectly and unwittingly) submitted her wedding photos for our evaluation. You've been waiting for another pop quiz. We know it. We feel it. Well, wait no more.

In our most recent "Pink" post, you learned how NOT to do the girliest colour of all-time. We love it when our readers listen to us, which is why we more or less commend you, bride, on your incorporation of prototypical femininity on your big day. See:

Your bridesmaids' dresses are more or less the same colour as the ones in our previous post, only their flowers, rather than being an attempt at "matchy-matchiness," delve into the orange that will become a larger part of your overall scheme later on. Solid.

We like that your reception revolved around a family of related colours happily married. We like the peach tablecloths and the pink gerber daisies, if only because they are so nicely held together by the hanging chinese lanterns.

We appreciate that your parents didn't try to mirror each other exactly or disappear in the wedding party: we like a tasteful print on a MOB, and full-length florals are all the rage this season. We question the coordination (with anything other than your mother's dress) of the yellow boutonnier on your father, but we generally approve of this look.

We commend your effort to include some punchy colour in your own ensemble: the ruby in your necklace (which we like as a stand-alone piece -- well done) picks up perfectly the gamut of pinks in your bouquet, and jazzes up a dress that otherwise falls rather flat (sorry).

Overall, we think you've done well, but we would have liked to see you take a few more chances with your construct as a whole. If you are going to go pink in the way you went pink, you kind of have to commit to a certain level of ridiculous-contemporary of which we only see glimpses.

It is difficult, indeed, to harmonise the traditional with the more modern, and you gave it a solid try - we aren't even offended by the beige suit on your groom given your countryside venue. We give you a healthy 80% for presentation and overall vision.

Pas pire, hotshot.