Are shoes even too much to ask for?

It's no secret that I hate beach weddings.

But I just find that they are simply too difficult to pull off properly. Sue me.

Here is a prime example:

I don't know what I find more offensive.

The fact that the groom is wearing a wooden-beaded choker necklace.

Or the groomsmen in general. I mean, look at those outfits! And they're barefoot, for God's sake! BAREFOOT! And the best part is that everyone else is wearing shoes! I cannot believe that I actually found myself RELIEVED when I noticed that groom was wearing (hideous and atrocious) flip-flops!

It's as though the flight carrying the original groomsmen was late, so the bride and groom just replaced them with the resort's hotel staff!!

Beyond unacceptable.

And while we're here, I'm just wondering what is going on with the bridesmaids. I think separately, each dress isn't too bad. But mixing it up with these green-and-black combinations is cheesier than Velveeta. Also, these people clearly didn't read the WB bouquet guides.