Home Hardware

I wish, dear readers, that you could see the priceless expression on this man's face.

He seems even more offended by this poor excuse for a doily, than I am. I think I've found my soulmate.

Meanwhile (and at the same wedding), I didn't realise Alcan got themselves a mascot. Good for them.

Because nothing screams "Multi-million dollar Aluminum Corporation" more than this glorious piece of elegance.

Huge, Yellow and Sparkly all over...

So Carrie Underwood got engaged recently.

The victim? Ottawa Senators' player Mike Fisher.

The point of this post? The ring.

Look at it. Sigh. It's a flawless yellow diamond (I think everyone on earth knows of my obsession with yellow diamonds). Approximately 5-plus carats. Valued at about 150 000 big ones. I'm not a fan of the cut, but does it even matter???

I'm hoping this rock will cure Carrie Underwood's perpetual BitchFace. Time will tell.

Suspiciously, Hilary Duff also got engaged (this weekend!) to a hockey player - Mike Comrie. He used to play for the Senators but was recently traded to the Edmonton Oilers. Her ring is just as ridiculous, but slightly less impressive to my delusional and judgmental eye.

Coincidence? Peer pressure? Something in the air? Hmmmmmm

Les escaliers de la butte ...

Oh my God. Okay. Don't panic. It's alright. So it's a little lopsided. Meh. This couple's Italian, anyway. Don't they love leaning things? Like the tower of Pisa? Yes. Yes they do. All will be well.


And anyway, isn't the Moulin Rouge really on top of a sloping hill like this to begin with? I think it is. I think it must be.

I really don't know how this happened. I mean, I was really pleased with the faux-wedding cake I made for my own bridal shower --

that's when this whole cake-baking obsession began. It was a real beaut, all asymmetrical and crooked. Crooked is the new straight, isn't it? I can't see where I went wrong. Where did I go wrong?

Pray for indulgence, and hope, at least, that it's delicious.

Oh man. I may never be in business again.

Point System

Bride:

+ 3 points for not having a horribly tacky dress - it's pretty.

+ 1 point for not choosing a horrible bouquet.

- 1 point for a style of veil which I can never bring myself to approve of.

- 2 points for clearly ignoring the "WB Hair Guide".

- 1 point for having a destination wedding in the Dominican Republic. (puke)

Bridesmaids:

+ 1 point for the parasols. They may be kitschy, but I kinda really like them.

+ 1 point for your dress color not completely offending my eyes.

+ 1 point for being able to "choose" the cut of your dress.

- 2 points for the AWFUL length of the dress. You got married on a beach, Bride. A BEACH. There is no need for your bridesmaids to be that demure and "covered up". They CAN expose their knees without offending the Dominican people, and all resort guests.

- 1 point to Bridesmaid # 1 : ankle strapped shoes will not help the hem situation.

- 1 point to Bridesmaid # 2 : those clunkers will not help the sand/grass situation.

- 5 points to nothing matching. The parasols, the hair, the dresses, the shoes, the beach - none of it really makes sense together. If you want a destination wedding, you gotta COMMIT.

Total score: Not sure. I was never strong in math.