selloffvacations.com

celia: so I feel like we haven't really done a destination weddings post.
CCB: you're right. I mean, we've covered it obliquely, but not in-depth. Let's do that now.
celia: sounds good (pulls out stack of bridal magazines and begins flipping through one).
CCB: so, ok, what are we looking for?
celia: The Perfect destination wedding, no?
CCB: ok ... what does that mean?
celia: well, you know, something that represents what a destination wedding should be. Like, aesthetically and thematically functional, tasteful, and even pleasing ...
CCB: ... but ultimately stereotypical.
celia: yes.
CCB: so, cookie cutter?
celia: exactly.
CCB: Ok.

(CCB and celia continue to rifle through this same magazine, until they happen upon something worthwhile).

CCB: I got one.
celia: oooooooh, let's see!


CCB: this is a wedding in Cuba. So, the groom and his groomsmen are in three-piece white suits
celia: and turquoise shirts. And white hats. And shoes. I hate it.
CCB: They're kind of like costumes, but it works, no?
celia: in context, yes.
CCB: and the bridsemaids, to match, are in these two-toned grecian numbers.
celia: ugh ...
CCB: but again, in context, it TOTALLY works! ps: LOVE the parasols.
celia: ditto
CCB: oh wait! Here's a closeup of the bride and groom (they have a look) ... she's stunning.


celia: she is. I love everything about this: from her gown to her hair ... everything. She's glowing.
CCB: she is. Wait. is that a cigar and a glass of scotch the groom is holding?
celia: I think it is. And those are aviator sunglasses, sepia tint.
CCB: wow. This really *is* a good "destination weddings" catalogue. We should write in to let them know.
celia: I think we should.
CCB: I think we just did.

Fellas, what?

Dear Brides,

We at WB believe very much in gender equity, which is why we find it appropriate to remind you, every now and then, that it is not only acceptable, but indeed often charming to include the men in your lives in what seem like even the most banal details pertaining to your big day.

For example, DO have them participate at mixed society bridal showers:


But DO NOT let them get anywhere NEAR the limbo stick.


Also, although we sometimes do encourage you to trust your man's opinion when it comes to bridal party gear, we recommend that you take his suggestions with a grain of salt.


When he said "blue and shiny," he might have meant something like this, but I can guarantee you that he did not mean "the star-spangled bridesmaid."

For further information on how appropriately to consult with your groom on any and all wedding decisions, please do not hesitate to contact us at your leisure.

All best,
WB

Recessionista, outdoor edition

(telephone rings, groom answers)

Groom: Hello?
Bride: Babe? OMFG, I JUST got my bank statement for this month ...
G: Is it that bad?
B: Looks like we're going to have to do some budget-cutting and SERIOUS prioritising for the wedding.
G: It's ok, calm down. How bad are we talking?
B: It's pretty bad.
G: Ok. Alright. Let's approach this systematically. We're having our wedding outdoors, so we can't do away with the heating lamps, otherwise our guests will freeze. This is October in Quebec.


B: Right. But we also can't get rid of the canopy Jason built to cover our ceremonial table! That was his gift to us!
G: Please don't remind me.


B: And we have to keep the white tent, too ...
G: Yes, you're right. What's our seating arrangement like? Had we decided?
B: I can't believe you're asking me these things six weeks before the wedding. KEEP TRACK! STAY ON TOP OF THINGS! We were going with cushioned white wicker, remember? We left a deposit for 100 of them last week ...
G: Oh, yeah ... right. Ok, no problem: we'll swallow the 10% deposit, halve the guest list, and just collect lawn chairs from our parents and all our old relatives.
B: Lawn chairs?
G: Yeah, you know the plastic ones everyone keeps on their back porch or patio for "home use only"? Like, your parents have a set.
B: The ones my mother refuses to offer to guests?


G: Yeah, those ones.
B: Are you sure that's a good idea?
G: Do you see any other solutions?
B: I guess not. What do we do about our ceremonial table, though? Can we keep that?
G: We have to. My mother would have a heart attack if we didn't.
B: How could I forget?
G: We'll just minimise everything ... so we get those same plastic chairs, and we'll just use an old bedsheet as a tablecloth.
B: Your mother is going to kill me ...
G: She'll understand.
B: Fine.
G: Do you feel better?
B: Not really, but maybe a little.
G: Are you coming over tonight?
B: Babe, we've been through this: I would, but I have to go pick up the tin cans at RONA for Aunt Wanda's mums ... the ones that are gonna line the aisle?


G: Oh yeah. I forgot. Call me when you get home.
B: Fine. Love you.
G: Love you too.

(click)

Trump'ed II

Here you have it folks. Ivanka's wedding dress. Custom made Vera Wang with 130 000$ worth of jewels from her own line.

I don't know how I feel about this. Let's take a closer look:

I definitely don't hate it. The tail is incredibly impressive. As is the ornate choice of lace. I like the trail of buttons down her back, and the whole boat-neck-with-lace-kinda-like-a-figure-skater top she's got going. And it's very Grace Kelly circa the Hitchcock era, so she wasn't wrong about that.

But I just wonder: is this the best you could do? You're The Donald's daughter. You could ACTUALLY have any dress you wish - and this is what you come up with? Granted, the dress is probably worth more than my life, and I could only dream about Vera making me a custom gown, but still. It's kind of a snoozefest. It just seems so "mature and moderate woman", no?

I guess that suits Ivanka. She's tried very hard to maintain the "classy and modern business woman" image, so I don't think anyone would have expected her to walk down the aisle with her fake boobs hanging out. This gown is elegant and tasteful - everything a good Trump tries to be.

Oh, and P.S., Ivanka? You're gorgeous, but your hubby kinda looks like a tool. Sorry hun!

Zelda probably wouldn't have been impressed.

Here at the WB headquarters, there is nothing we love more than when our loyal (albeit silent) readers send us suggestions!

This lovely piece was sent to us by faithful WB follower "simplycyn". She heard about this gem on the radio and just couldn't resist.

From the radio host's blog :

"You have to love the video game geeks, especially when it comes to romance, they've got us regular techno-phobs beat by miles or giga-bytes, (which ever you prefer).

Last week a gamer from New York proposed to his girlfriend of five years using the Mario Bros game on the old Super Nintendo console. He managed to edit the game so when she reached a certain level the gold coins that dropped down spelled out the words "Lisa - will you marry me?" How crazy cool is that - and the good news is that Lisa said yes.

You know what, that totally annihilates some guy putting a ring in a girl's dessert dish at the restaurant...we are so over that boys, time to be original like Mr. Video Game dude - that's sexy... "

Apparently, the radio host thinks it's the most romantic proposal she has ever heard.

Seriously?

I mean, is it cute? Yes. Did the boy put in a lot of effort? Probably. But, is it romantic? Hell to the no. Well, maybe if the girl was a hardcore video gamer?

Sorry, Mr. Video Game dude! But this Princess Peach remains a little unimpressed.

Thoughts?

So who's the Bride?

Really, Bride? You're going to dress your bridesmaids in white/ivory, just like you? And your MOH in bright purple? And you're OK with your MOH being the one who stands out, while you fade away in all the pictures? Fine. Your choice.

OK. But this idea is actually really cute. I'll give you that much, Bride. You could have had a good thing going if you would have just changed the color of your bridesmaids' dresses!

Trump'ed

This weekend, Ivanka Trump (entrepreneur and daughter to Donald) will marry Jared Kushner (some sort of businessman millionaire).

People.com tells me this about the wedding :

"The bride will walk down the aisle in a Vera Wang wedding gown, inspired by Grace Kelly. The 500 guests will include Regis Philbin, who will be called on to sing a song at the reception, planned by Preston Bailey – who also handled Donald and Melania Trump's lavish wedding at Mar-a-Lago in Palm Beach, Fla.

Grace Kelly? Hmmm....we shall wait and see, Ivanka.

Let's see what she can come up with. But I have a feeling it will be good.

Stay tuned, WB readers.

P.S. How can I get Regis to sing at my wedding?

DIY and make history

Many thanks to Elaine Tolmatch for forwarding this remarkable and touching story by Helen Zegerman Schwimmer, originally published in The Jewish Press (December 31, 2008), to WB. Be reminded, all, that no feat is too great for true love deeply rooted in faith.

Helen Zegerman Schwimmer is the author of "Like The Stars of The Heavens." To contact her go to:
helenschwimmer.com

(As a historical note: “displaced persons” were the people who survived the concentration camps, but were homeless after the war. The Allies set up “displaced persons camps” after the war to house those survivors.)

An extraordinary, moving history lesson

The Wedding Gown That Made History


Lilly Friedman doesn't remember the last name of the woman who designed and sewed the wedding gown she wore when she walked down the aisle over 60 years ago. But the grandmother of seven does recall that when she first told her fiancé Ludwig that she had always dreamed of being married in a white gown he realized he had his work cut out for him.

For the tall, lanky 21-year-old who had survived hunger, disease, and torture this was a different kind of challenge. How was he ever going to find such a dress in the Bergen Belsen Displaced Persons' camp where they felt grateful for the clothes on their backs?

Fate would intervene in the guise of a former German pilot who walked into the food distribution center where Ludwig worked, eager to make a trade for his worthless parachute. In exchange for two pounds of coffee beans and a couple of packs of cigarettes Lilly would have her wedding gown.

For two weeks Miriam the seamstress worked under the curious eyes of her fellow DPs, carefully fashioning the six parachute panels into a simple, long sleeved gown with a rolled collar and a fitted waist that tied in the back with a bow. When the dress was completed she sewed the leftover material into a matching shirt for the groom.

A white wedding gown may have seemed like a frivolous request in the surreal environment of the camps, but for Lilly the dress symbolized the innocent, normal life she and her family had once led before the world descended into madness.

Lilly and her siblings were raised in a Torah observant home in the small town of Zarica, Czechoslovakia where her father was a melamed, respected and well liked by the young yeshiva students he taught in nearby Irsheva.

He and his two sons were marked for extermination immediately upon arriving at Auschwitz . For Lilly and her sisters it was only their first stop on their long journey of persecution, which included Plashof, Neustadt, Gross Rosen and finally Bergen Belsen .

Lilly Friedman and her parachute dress on display in the Bergen Belsen Museum

Four hundred people marched 15 miles in the snow to the town of Celle on January 27, 1946 to attend Lilly and Ludwig's wedding. The town synagogue, damaged and desecrated, had been lovingly renovated by the DPs with the meager materials available to them. When a Sefer Torah arrived from England they converted an old kitchen cabinet into a makeshift Aron Kodesh.

"My sisters and I lost everything -- our parents, our two brothers, our homes. The most important thing was to build a new home."

Six months later, Lilly's sister Ilona wore the dress when she married Max Traeger. After that came Cousin Rosie. How many brides wore Lilly's dress? "I stopped counting after 17." With the camps experiencing the highest marriage rate in the world, Lilly's gown was in great demand.

In 1948, when President Harry Truman finally permitted the 100,000 Jews who had been languishing in DP camps since the end of the war to emigrate, the gown accompanied Lilly across the ocean to America . Unable to part with her dress, it lay at the bottom of her bedroom closet for the next 50 years, "not even good enough for a garage sale. I was happy when it found such a good home."

Home was the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington , D.C. When Lily's niece, a volunteer, told museum officials about her aunt's dress, they immediately recognized its historical significance and displayed the gown in a specially designed showcase, guaranteed to preserve it for 500 years.

Zombie Cake

It's all in its name.


Hate it or love it? Vote today.

Many thanks to faithful reader Nina for sending this in. That's right. I just went there; it's a "reader's choice" and a "weekly poll" all in one! You can thank me later.

Veiled.

Veils.

Another tough issue.

Does one go the traditional route? Or venture off into the unknown?

Luckily, we have made a veil guide.

Please follow closely.

VEIL GUIDE

by: WB

TRADITIONAL VEIL

DO keep it classy and traditional. Yes, it is true that nothing bores me more than the type of traditional veil this bride decided to wear. But I will have to admit that there is nothing particularly hideous about it. It is pretty (and I am thankfully she opted out of a tiara). It does not offend my eyes. It just bores me to tears. But maybe it's just me.

DO NOT forget that it is 2009. It is not 1982, and therefore height most definitely does not matter. But at the same time, please DO NOT think that it would be a-ok to just "place" a veil to the top of your head and call it a day. A little bit of volume never hurt anybody. This bride seemed to have forgotten that she is no longer 8 years old and "playing bride" by putting the drapes or sheets on her head. This is actually your wedding day, bride. Put the doily away.

BIRDCAGE VEIL

DO consider wearing a birdcage veil. These veils first caught our attention when Reese Witherspoon's character wore one in the wedding scene in Sweet Home Alabama. There is really nothing more glamourous or dramatic. Veils don't have to be long, cascading and overpowering. It's really unnecessary. And usually, it will just take away from your dress. The birdcage veil is short, sweet and sassy. What more can a bride ask for?

DO NOT gather inspiration from Lady GaGa. She's crazy. You probably aren't.

LESS IS MORE

DO remember that wearing a veil is not obligatory. Usually, keeping it simple is best. Now that doesn't mean you have to be boring. Headpieces are so much fun! Forget the veil and just stick something feathery and glittery in your hair, like this bride.

DO NOT go overboard and wear every single trend out there. Take this bride - she's got a traditional long veil, a birdcage veil AND an atrocious colored feathered headpiece on. No, no and no. You have got to pick one, and stick to it. Attaching a long veil to a birdcage veil really defeats the purpose. And red feathers?? RED? Are you wearing a plume? Is this supposed to be some kind of French Revolution chic? Unacceptable.

(But I do wonder what secret she's telling him?)

Square

This is a truly fabulous wedding cake:


This is not:


Why let geometry define your dessert? Be bold, be daring, be gender-equitable, and be fun. Your guests will remember you for it, and you might just land yourself a spot among the WBers, under the label "because we're not always that mean."

If that's not incentive, I don't know what is.

Madness?

So Christina Hendricks, from Mad Men, got married this weekend.

I don't really know anything about Mad Men. I mean, I hear it's good and it wins a bunch of awards.

But, what I do know is that Christina Hendricks is pretty damn gorgeous. Which is why it pains me to feel so...I don't even know what...about her Carolina Herrera gown.

The shape is pretty boring. But it's fun and origami-inspired in the back. There is a strange pattern across the fabric. But the top and cinched waist are kind of flattering. I mean, it doesn't necessarily bore me, but I am kind of uninterested.

In any case, she certainly grabbed my attention with her bridesmaids.

How offbeat! How adorable! How vintage! How chic! How playful!

This could have ended up looking very costume-y. And yet, I find it didn't. The dresses are fantastic. The colors are beautiful for fall. And is that a basket I see? Is she the flower girl? Does it even matter? Look at those headpieces!

I'm excited.

Have I lost my mind?

Discuss below.

Recessionista

I recently read that bridal designer Alfred Angelo was inspired by our shady economic times (isn't that over yet?) and created a line of wedding gowns for the bride on a budget, appropriately called "Recessionista".

Although it took me awhile to get over the atrocious choice of name, I thought that this was a great idea! Not every bride can afford a ridiculously expensive dress, but that doesn't mean that she shouldn't be able to get a dress from a renowned (albeit tacky) (sorry) bridal designer.

So I checked out the site and, as expected, the dresses were simple - but not horrible. This one in particular is pretty. The shape of the dress is interesting, and the jeweled detail is delicate and appropriate. Obviously not the most beautiful gown in the world, but definitely worth the price tag (under 599$). We've all seen much worse, for much more.

But then, I saw THIS.

Pants.

CHIFFON pants.

What?????

Just because you are on a budget does not mean that you should be forced to wear horrible pants on your wedding day!

Is there seriously a market for pants-wearing brides? Unless you're getting married and then rushing off to work, there is no reason for you to wear pants on your wedding!

And the best part is that this "outfit" falls under the same price range as the dress above.

Is this even a choice?

Worst Best Man

Appropriately, I found a link to this video through the best man (to my maid of honour) at my sister's wedding last July, 2008, and I couldn't resist posting:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0DmtmmFEVo

What did we learn on the show tonight, WBers?
1) Make your best man pass a physical coordination test before appointing him to this crucial role.
2) Don't have a poolside wedding.
3) Wear water-proof mascara.

What's almost as good as the video itself is the commentary that follows.

Harper's Bizarre

For some reason, Harper's Bazaar thought it would be a good idea to put Kate Hudson in this for their most recent edition:



Wow.

Is that a FAT BULGE escaping from the sleeve near the armpit? A FAT BULGE? On KATE HUDSON? Either my eyes deceive me, or this is actually the world's worst cut sleeve.


The shoes, however, I love. What I enjoy even more than the shoes: the newspaper wrapped around her bouquets. Both of them. How's that for an "urban wedding"?

Photographers do it in the dark

And graduate students do it where it's free.

Grad students. We're certainly a strange bunch. We tend to resist the norm, reject convention, and do things "on our own terms" within our (very meager) budgets. That's not, of course, to say that our weddings are all devoid of sentimentality or fanfare. We like details just as much as the next guy, but we're more particular (and perhaps intellectually elitist) about the ones we choose to emphasise on our big day.

Fair enough. We weren't all made perfect.

One thing we (female) like to do is to wear things that, while still very appropriate for civil ceremonies (because we are all heathens who don't believe in God and hate the idea of established religion, anyway, so would NEVER get married in Church), toy with expectation. Because our men tend to be ineffectual pushovers with mommy complexes, we like to keep them in standard (but always comfortable - let's face it: getting them out of shorts was already miraculous enough) attire:


We like to favour details that are in line with our academic interests. For the Art Historians among us, this means getting married in what was once ostensibly an old chapel covered floor to ceiling in affreschi, and choosing truly fantastical headpieces, genuine vintage jewelry, and intricate - but not overly so - dresses and purses nothing if not a perfect match with our delightfully playful footwear (not to mention our man's tie):



























Aren't we just cute as buttons?

Our friends are, too. We in the humanities are an aesthetic bunch, so it's only natural that our guests would show up to our counter-culture nuptials in style:

And that they would stick around afterward for a very tasteful, even if small and modest, reception:

But when our parents leave is when the real fun begins. Our mothers, they tried to tell us that changing into your playclothes and having a party in a park is something that you do for your tenth birthday, and NOT for what many consider to be the most important day of your life (after your dissertation defense). They tried to tell us that a wedding was neither a sagra nor a picnic.



They offered to pay for a proper wedding cake.


















They tried, but we wouldn't listen.


Of course, we didn't want to go against their wishes ... we are too riddled by inferiority complexes and Variants of Guilt. Instead, we just hired this guy to usher them out before the real festivities began.


Bring on the vino ... we've just pledged our eternal commitment to each other in a wildly liberal, completely secular, and therefore undeniably off-beat way. It's time to celebrate!

Ks

There's just something about those Kardashian sisters...

...that makes me want to rip out my eyeballs.

Maybe it's because they all seem to truly hate each other?

Maybe it's because The Tall One suddenly decided to get married after dating some guy for five minutes and everyone is supposed to care?

Maybe it's because The Pregnant One can't stop talking about how fat she is?

Maybe it's because The "Famous" One suddenly thinks she's an entrepreneur, when really the only thing she's known for is her ass?

Either way, I just can't get over this picture. It's not that I hate the Vera Wang dress. It's ok, I guess. A little predictable, if anything. And it kinda looks like the top was made out of folded napkins. But I just HATE that hair. It is way too severe and long and wavy. Why would you leave all that hair falling over your shoulders and then place that awful veil on top of it all? It's just too much going on up there. Not to mention the fact that it draws unwanted attention to that smug look on her face.

Don't get too cocky, Tall One. I give you and hubby 4 months. Tops.

Ps. Um, "Famous" One? Hi. You know, going up a size wouldn't have hurt. No one needs to know.

Purple Prose:

definition: an idiomatic expression used to describe writing that is superfluously ornate, showy, obscure, or garish.

These purple dresses exhibit at least two of the above four qualities.


Kudos to the bride for letting her MOH get creative with her gown (within the confines of the palette). The bridesmaids' dresses, however, are a little more questionable. They *might* have worked had they been short and of a less offensive hue, and had everyone's hair been swept into a classy but contemporary up-do. Of particularly heinous note: bridesmaid on the far left, who chose a two-bit chunky headpiece in the EXACT same fabric and colour as her dress. Fail.

Also, are we the ONLY ones who think that near-matching your bridesmaids' bouquets to their dresses is a bad idea? This is the THIRD wedding we've seen in recent history with solid purple-on-purple bouquet to dress action. What gives, and why does it give in monochrome?

Think it over, future brides, lest your weddings fall short of "regal."

Love on the Rocks

(Thanks, Neil Diamond.)

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice ...

We crazy canucks, we like our hockey, our Canadian Club, and our weddings on ice.


Cutting edge variation of the "destination wedding" or an idea that just leaves you cold?

Vote today.

Last week's poll: 66% of you HATED the Zodiac bachelorette party - maybe it just wasn't meant to be.