Ever wonder what the guests at your big day REALLY thought of your dress, the reception venue, or the string quartet over-dramatizing every moment of your saunter down the aisle? Welcome to the only online site ballsy enough to out the bad decisions that may land you a divorce. You did? You shouldn't have.
At Wedding Bashers, we are fully aware of the power of St. Hubert St. in Montreal.
We are also aware that the boutiques on St. Hubert usually contain some of the most heinous bridal (as well as bridesmaids, MOH, prom, etc., etc.) gowns you'll probably ever find.
What we aren't aware of is that sleeves are apparently making a comeback. Sleeves, dear readers. SLEEVES.
This photo was captured during an innocent walk down St. Hub. Little did I know I would find something so offensive to my eyes.
At first I thought it was an awful bolero (also, vomit inducing). But, no. They are just sleeves. Sleeves which look like they belong on a dress for a 3 year old.
Is there suddenly a demand for sleeved bridal gowns?
You're a simple girl. You like a classic and glamourous look without all the whistles and bells, and your heart is still stuck somewhere in your grandmother's closet. You like being the life of the party, but not at the expense of your guests. You shine - always and unapologetically - but hate outshining the rest.
Girl, I know you. I am not unlike you.
There are wedding dresses made for you, too.
See this bride, for example. The sleek cut of her gown, its creamy colour, the rich but subtle lace overlay all hint at genuine vintage (or successful emulation of genuine vintage). The satin sash cinched at the waist brings it back into the 21st century.
"Something old," "something new," potentially even "something borrowed" are all taken care of.
"Something blue."
Here it is. This touch of colour, though neither pronounced nor even, really, noticeable upon first inspection, is, to me, a perfectly viable replacement for a veil that would do nothing more than, like this ribbon, add to the dress in a slight but still present way.
Girl, you've done well. You could have been tempted to go overboard with your "avoid the spotlight at all costs" philosophy. You could have, for example, insisted on wearing a short, flapperish number that, while undeniably pretty, would do little to set you apart from the crowd or showcase you as the Lady of the Day.
This bride looks lovely. She does. I like this dress from its colour to its cut (although the plunge at the neck could have been a tad deeper - we are not, after all, little girls anymore) to its beaded and embroidered details. This bride has chosen to walk down the aisle in another genuine-vintage-look number ... at least I think she's the bride ...
Girl, subtlety is a wonderful tool, but no bride should disappear or, what's worse, blend on her wedding day. Make it floor-length, add a headpiece and a dramatic necklace, and you're set.
"Something old" shouldn't have to mean "something forgotten."
Someone (bought and) wore the pocket-dress. We saw it with our own four eyes:
We think, however, that in this case, it was for the best. At some point in the evening, this bride likely did away with one of her three pieces of mismatched jewelry, stashing it safely in her pocket, we assume.
Reminder to all brides: anykindof-bling drop earrings DO NOT work with a single string of pearls. Least of all when a feathered headpiece is involved. Each of these items is acceptable on its own. Even a combination of two out of three and a substitution of the other would have worked brilliantly. String of pearls + pearl studs + feathered headpiece = divine. OR bling drop earrings + simple bling pendant + feathered headpiece = lovely. But this particular mix just. doesn't. function.
CCB: Doesn't it look like a center-piece to you? Like, I mean, instead of a large floral arrangement, this couple went with several smaller ones and a baked (and iced and frosted) good.
celia: Yeah, you're right, but I think it's also supposed to be the wedding cake? Like every table gets one, and when it's time for dessert, they just cut it up for themselves, no?
CCB: Now that I think about it, I think you're right.
Readers: huh?
CCB: Yeah. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
celia: Yeah, I don't know ... I mean, it's kind of plain and boring to start off with.
CCB: I mean, it's definitely very convenient, and I kind of like that it's DIY - I like audience participation at big events ... and in general.
celia: and it's kind of cute that each table gets its own mini-wedding cake ... like it really makes the guests part of the experience.
CCB: I agree. But what happens if your guests attack it before dessert?
celia: Are your guests starving douches?
CCB: Maybe my guests are starving douches.
celia: oy. I don't know ...
CCB: So, backburner this idea?
celia: let's open it up to discussion.
Readers: huh?
Hate it or love it? Vote now.
Thanks to everyone who voted last week: 100% of you HATED engagement rings for men. Yay feminism!
