Recently, I have taken to watching TLC's "Say Yes to the Dress." On a loop. For hours. I'm not sure what the gimmick with Kleinfeld's is, or why they seem to feature your dresses almost exclusively on every episode, usually in the "out of the bride's budget, but exactly what the bride wants" category but sometimes in the "slutty bride" category, too. Maybe you are their chief designer. Maybe you are paying them big money to advertise your line on nationally syndicated television. Maybe Kleinfeld's is just particularly fond of you. Either way, watching the show got me interested in your gowns. Some are really quite pretty. For example:
Granted, these all differ vastly from the two gowns I have already designed for my own wedding (which may or may not fit so well at 80 years old), and I would probably only realistically wear one of the first two, but there is something in these gowns for everyone: a classic look gone modern (low waist, photo 1), a little drama (extreme tulle, photo 2), a little fairy tale flare with a tasteful detail (Cinderella ballgown with beading, photo 3), a little old-school romance (capsleeves, photo 4). If I saw any girl sporting any of these numbers at her wedding, I think I would react favourably, granted it work with her body-type and overall approach.
Some numbers, however, bore me:
Some confuse me:
(Now I know why Lady Gaga, Marie Antoinette, and the caged bird sing.)
Some I would expect and be more or less happy to see on the red carpet at the Oscars:
Most, including a fair amount of the above, are inappropriate:
Many (and your entire 2010 collection) offend me:
The rest just leave me cold.
Please don't misunderstand me, Ms. Tornai. I'm not saying that you have no talent as a dressmaker, or that your vision is always heartbreakingly wrong. Nor am I implying that your gowns haven't earned their place in the US's largest upscale wedding dress warehouse, or that they aren't loved by many free-spirited brides on Daddy's infinite budget. I guess I just wondered if you made anything for real, down-to-earth, normal girls who feel a little uncomfortable about displaying large chunks of their midriff or exposing all of their breasts (minus nipples) on what has been called the most important day of their lives. I also wondered if maybe your gowns would appeal to a larger portion of the bridal population if they weren't so bedazzled with jewels that put them well above and beyond most brides' (as per TLC's suggestion) very *reasonable* 3,000$ budget. It might be more advantageous to you, too: spending less on bling means you could spend more on fabric, which means more of your dresses could actually come to completion before they get put on the market.
Does anyone ever ask you to fill in the gaps you leave blank in her dress before her wedding?
Another thing I wondered is if you got your start in Vegas or on Carnival Cruise lines. If you are unfamiliar with these venues, I suggest you look into both: I see a bright future for you at either location.
One last note, and this, to your (indirect) patron, TLC. I am not sure who you think The Life Channel's audience is; perhaps you have grand delusions about who it should be, and that, I suppose, would be fine, too. Let me assure you, however, that the only people watching are stay-at-home whatevers, my sister, or students (like me) looking for any excuse to procrastinate. None of us makes millions. We are not Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian, nor do we dress like them. I don't think very many of us have 11,000$ to spend on rhinestones and chiffon. If you are looking to be a network exemplary of your audience, you might reconsider the role Pnina Tornai plays in "Say Yes to the Dress" for the sake of consistency.
Maggie Sottero is far less glam, that's undeniably true, but she makes decent wedding gowns for 1,500$ if you want them, and many of us do.
Truly yours,
CCB
SHUT UP. I have been watching this show non-stop since I've been home, too! This should not surprise either of us at all, actually. And I had the same thoughts about Pnina, especially after catching the episode in which some pageant girl insisted on wearing half a dress for her wedding, even when her pageantgirl friends had the sense to tell her it was heinous. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, but here it is in all its lacy, ruffly, gaudy glory: http://tlc.discovery.com/tv/say-yes-dress/slideshows/season-5-episode-1.html I think the corset looked even more transparent on TV. Vom.
ReplyDeleteAlso, CCB, believe it or not, TLC stands for The Learning Channel. There was a time--in the years before Trading Spaces became an accidental hit and spawned a reality-show snowball that has yet to slow down--when TLC's programs were actually (gasp!) educational and, in fact, resembled the shows offered by their parent company, Discovery. Soooo...TLC...time to figure your shit out, man.
ReplyDeleteOOOOH - thanks for the emendation! I didn't realise TLC ever even conceived of itself as instructive (hence my immediate assumption that "L" stood for "Life," which seemed a more likely possibility). What a joke. Really.
ReplyDelete(Producers are laughing all the way to the bank).
And yes, I saw that lovely little number ... I think I included it in this post, too, only the model wearing it here has decided, rather modestly, to pair it with a lace bolero. If I were that girl's mother, I'd refuse to attend her ceremony.
Ah, yes. I didn't recognize it with the addition of that godawful bolero, which i took to be part of the godawful dress itself. Shoot me inna face.
ReplyDeleteI have seen many brides wearing Pnina Tornai Wedding Dresses on their big day. Believe me, even watching brides dresses up in Pnina Tornai dresses feel pleasant.
ReplyDeleteShe designs slutty wedding dresses. Trashy not classy.
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