selloffvacations.com

celia: so I feel like we haven't really done a destination weddings post.
CCB: you're right. I mean, we've covered it obliquely, but not in-depth. Let's do that now.
celia: sounds good (pulls out stack of bridal magazines and begins flipping through one).
CCB: so, ok, what are we looking for?
celia: The Perfect destination wedding, no?
CCB: ok ... what does that mean?
celia: well, you know, something that represents what a destination wedding should be. Like, aesthetically and thematically functional, tasteful, and even pleasing ...
CCB: ... but ultimately stereotypical.
celia: yes.
CCB: so, cookie cutter?
celia: exactly.
CCB: Ok.

(CCB and celia continue to rifle through this same magazine, until they happen upon something worthwhile).

CCB: I got one.
celia: oooooooh, let's see!


CCB: this is a wedding in Cuba. So, the groom and his groomsmen are in three-piece white suits
celia: and turquoise shirts. And white hats. And shoes. I hate it.
CCB: They're kind of like costumes, but it works, no?
celia: in context, yes.
CCB: and the bridsemaids, to match, are in these two-toned grecian numbers.
celia: ugh ...
CCB: but again, in context, it TOTALLY works! ps: LOVE the parasols.
celia: ditto
CCB: oh wait! Here's a closeup of the bride and groom (they have a look) ... she's stunning.


celia: she is. I love everything about this: from her gown to her hair ... everything. She's glowing.
CCB: she is. Wait. is that a cigar and a glass of scotch the groom is holding?
celia: I think it is. And those are aviator sunglasses, sepia tint.
CCB: wow. This really *is* a good "destination weddings" catalogue. We should write in to let them know.
celia: I think we should.
CCB: I think we just did.

Fellas, what?

Dear Brides,

We at WB believe very much in gender equity, which is why we find it appropriate to remind you, every now and then, that it is not only acceptable, but indeed often charming to include the men in your lives in what seem like even the most banal details pertaining to your big day.

For example, DO have them participate at mixed society bridal showers:


But DO NOT let them get anywhere NEAR the limbo stick.


Also, although we sometimes do encourage you to trust your man's opinion when it comes to bridal party gear, we recommend that you take his suggestions with a grain of salt.


When he said "blue and shiny," he might have meant something like this, but I can guarantee you that he did not mean "the star-spangled bridesmaid."

For further information on how appropriately to consult with your groom on any and all wedding decisions, please do not hesitate to contact us at your leisure.

All best,
WB

Recessionista, outdoor edition

(telephone rings, groom answers)

Groom: Hello?
Bride: Babe? OMFG, I JUST got my bank statement for this month ...
G: Is it that bad?
B: Looks like we're going to have to do some budget-cutting and SERIOUS prioritising for the wedding.
G: It's ok, calm down. How bad are we talking?
B: It's pretty bad.
G: Ok. Alright. Let's approach this systematically. We're having our wedding outdoors, so we can't do away with the heating lamps, otherwise our guests will freeze. This is October in Quebec.


B: Right. But we also can't get rid of the canopy Jason built to cover our ceremonial table! That was his gift to us!
G: Please don't remind me.


B: And we have to keep the white tent, too ...
G: Yes, you're right. What's our seating arrangement like? Had we decided?
B: I can't believe you're asking me these things six weeks before the wedding. KEEP TRACK! STAY ON TOP OF THINGS! We were going with cushioned white wicker, remember? We left a deposit for 100 of them last week ...
G: Oh, yeah ... right. Ok, no problem: we'll swallow the 10% deposit, halve the guest list, and just collect lawn chairs from our parents and all our old relatives.
B: Lawn chairs?
G: Yeah, you know the plastic ones everyone keeps on their back porch or patio for "home use only"? Like, your parents have a set.
B: The ones my mother refuses to offer to guests?


G: Yeah, those ones.
B: Are you sure that's a good idea?
G: Do you see any other solutions?
B: I guess not. What do we do about our ceremonial table, though? Can we keep that?
G: We have to. My mother would have a heart attack if we didn't.
B: How could I forget?
G: We'll just minimise everything ... so we get those same plastic chairs, and we'll just use an old bedsheet as a tablecloth.
B: Your mother is going to kill me ...
G: She'll understand.
B: Fine.
G: Do you feel better?
B: Not really, but maybe a little.
G: Are you coming over tonight?
B: Babe, we've been through this: I would, but I have to go pick up the tin cans at RONA for Aunt Wanda's mums ... the ones that are gonna line the aisle?


G: Oh yeah. I forgot. Call me when you get home.
B: Fine. Love you.
G: Love you too.

(click)

Trump'ed II

Here you have it folks. Ivanka's wedding dress. Custom made Vera Wang with 130 000$ worth of jewels from her own line.

I don't know how I feel about this. Let's take a closer look:

I definitely don't hate it. The tail is incredibly impressive. As is the ornate choice of lace. I like the trail of buttons down her back, and the whole boat-neck-with-lace-kinda-like-a-figure-skater top she's got going. And it's very Grace Kelly circa the Hitchcock era, so she wasn't wrong about that.

But I just wonder: is this the best you could do? You're The Donald's daughter. You could ACTUALLY have any dress you wish - and this is what you come up with? Granted, the dress is probably worth more than my life, and I could only dream about Vera making me a custom gown, but still. It's kind of a snoozefest. It just seems so "mature and moderate woman", no?

I guess that suits Ivanka. She's tried very hard to maintain the "classy and modern business woman" image, so I don't think anyone would have expected her to walk down the aisle with her fake boobs hanging out. This gown is elegant and tasteful - everything a good Trump tries to be.

Oh, and P.S., Ivanka? You're gorgeous, but your hubby kinda looks like a tool. Sorry hun!

Zelda probably wouldn't have been impressed.

Here at the WB headquarters, there is nothing we love more than when our loyal (albeit silent) readers send us suggestions!

This lovely piece was sent to us by faithful WB follower "simplycyn". She heard about this gem on the radio and just couldn't resist.

From the radio host's blog :

"You have to love the video game geeks, especially when it comes to romance, they've got us regular techno-phobs beat by miles or giga-bytes, (which ever you prefer).

Last week a gamer from New York proposed to his girlfriend of five years using the Mario Bros game on the old Super Nintendo console. He managed to edit the game so when she reached a certain level the gold coins that dropped down spelled out the words "Lisa - will you marry me?" How crazy cool is that - and the good news is that Lisa said yes.

You know what, that totally annihilates some guy putting a ring in a girl's dessert dish at the restaurant...we are so over that boys, time to be original like Mr. Video Game dude - that's sexy... "

Apparently, the radio host thinks it's the most romantic proposal she has ever heard.

Seriously?

I mean, is it cute? Yes. Did the boy put in a lot of effort? Probably. But, is it romantic? Hell to the no. Well, maybe if the girl was a hardcore video gamer?

Sorry, Mr. Video Game dude! But this Princess Peach remains a little unimpressed.

Thoughts?

So who's the Bride?

Really, Bride? You're going to dress your bridesmaids in white/ivory, just like you? And your MOH in bright purple? And you're OK with your MOH being the one who stands out, while you fade away in all the pictures? Fine. Your choice.

OK. But this idea is actually really cute. I'll give you that much, Bride. You could have had a good thing going if you would have just changed the color of your bridesmaids' dresses!

Trump'ed

This weekend, Ivanka Trump (entrepreneur and daughter to Donald) will marry Jared Kushner (some sort of businessman millionaire).

People.com tells me this about the wedding :

"The bride will walk down the aisle in a Vera Wang wedding gown, inspired by Grace Kelly. The 500 guests will include Regis Philbin, who will be called on to sing a song at the reception, planned by Preston Bailey – who also handled Donald and Melania Trump's lavish wedding at Mar-a-Lago in Palm Beach, Fla.

Grace Kelly? Hmmm....we shall wait and see, Ivanka.

Let's see what she can come up with. But I have a feeling it will be good.

Stay tuned, WB readers.

P.S. How can I get Regis to sing at my wedding?