Saturday, August 15, 2009

Barbie Ties the Knot (around her neck)

Dear Barbie,



I know you're probably on Honeymoon, but I just had to say, OMFG, I can't BELIEVE you're all grown up and MARRIED! LOL! It seems like only yesterday, you were Malibu Beach Barbie, sporting that pumpkin-orange tan-in-a-can glow from your hair follicles to your toenails ... so precious! Now look at you: you're Wedding Bells Barbie, and you've never been lovelier. To me, though, you're just the same old troublemaker, and I really respect that you haven't let coupled life change you or who you are. Just look at your dress: those sequins ... that bling dripping from your ears (you rock it, sistah) ... it's SO Slutty 70s Disco Barbie! And that furry cape is TOTALLY Snow Princess Barbie from the Classic Collection. Good on you for having thought ahead to how cold it can get on these chilly July nights. Plus, I simply ADORE what you did with your hair. Soft, cascading, bleach-blonde tendrils are very early 90s, not to mention an unironic throwback to the memorable Prom Barbie. The glittery strappy sandals, the fake fingernails, and the fuschia flowers just pull the whole look together. Divine. I love it.

Anyway, all is well with me. Just wanted to say congratulations again! You and Ken are a gorgeous couple and I can't wait till you guys start cranking out the kids.

Hugs and kisses,
CCB

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