Enclosed herewith, please find the official complaint issued by one Sir Sandro Botticelli concerning theft of intellectual property, copyright infringement, violation of legal protection against fraudulent, tasteless, and unoriginal reappropriation of genius, or, to be short, article 3(a) of the Copyright Act (R.S., 1985, c. C-42).
Below follow the plaintiff’s claims to original property:
Item 1: Plain, shapeless, uninteresting though overtly stylistic draperyItem 2: Figure in playful pastoral stance
Item 3: mismatched and inappropriate footwear adequate for frolicking through rolling hills
Item 4: limp, lyrical, artificially (and unnecessarily) tousled hair
As well as his laments more generally concerning:
Item 1: capsleeves
Item 2: the disposition of one about to taste her First Holy Eucharist
You are asked to review the charges against you and, if so desired, find proper legal counsel. Please present yourself before a judge at Quebec's Superior Court at the below-specified time and location.
NB: Academics accused of professional plagiarism are ineligible to act as legal consultants.
Consider yourself served.
Your expedient reply and cooperation are expected.
We, the undersigned, celia and CCB on behalf, posthumously, of the Most Illustrious, Late Great Sandro Botticelli, M.F.A., 1445-1510.
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